Did you know that women with ADHD are often dismissed as being lazy, selfish, dumb, or spacey?
Can you guess why? Because ADHD traits in women don’t conform to the male-centric perception we have of ADHD.
As a matter of fact, when we talk about ADHD, we most probably imagine a boy causing a ruckus in his classroom by jumping about and disturbing his mates. We don’t realise that we are limiting our definition of ADHD to the male experience. Aggression, hyperactivity, and other noticeable traits are what we are looking for when someone says they have ADHD.
However, girls and women don’t experience ADHD like men do.
The female ADHD symptoms and the resulting experiences are more often than not internal – meaning they don’t affect others as much as their male counterparts do.
So, does that mean it’s ok to call women lazy? Absolutely Not!
Different doesn’t mean it’s not there. We have to understand exactly what female ADHD traits are and how they affect their lives.
That’s what we’re going to do in this article.
Key ADHD Traits in Women
There are three symptom types of ADHD, namely inattentiveness, hyperactivity, and combined. Girls and women have predominantly the inattentive type symptoms, which usually show themselves as the following traits:
- Difficulty listening to others.
- Inability to pay attention to details, and making frequent mistakes.
- Struggling to stay focused on tasks that require continuous mental effort, like reading.
- Not completing tasks by losing focus.
- Disorganisation and missed deadlines.
- Feeling overwhelmed and not starting tasks that require extensive brain power.
- Losing track of everyday items like wallets, keys, phone, etc.
- Getting easily distracted by the surrounding noises and other stimuli.
Why Are Female ADHD Traits Overlooked?
You might’ve noticed that ADHD traits in women are very much internal and don’t directly impact other people’s lives. For example, the boy who starts running in the school’s hallway when it’s strictly prohibited is more noticeable than a girl who looks out the window during class.
In fact, the girl is likely to be called a daydreamer, and the root cause of said “daydreaming” will not be addressed until her adulthood.
Misdiagnosis is another issue that women with ADHD face. A woman may go to her therapist to understand why they are always overwhelmed and stressed while her peers are doing just fine. And instead of getting an ADHD diagnosis, the woman will likely be given a diagnosis of anxiety or depression.
While the woman does feel anxious, it’s not the root cause. She’ll continue to suffer from the same problems and face the same hurdles, but now with a misdiagnosis.
This is why it’s so crucial to consult an experienced ADHD clinician who’s trained to understand a woman’s symptoms and provide an accurate diagnosis.
Masking Causes Its Own Issues
A girl with ADHD will spend extra hours preparing for a quiz, she’ll note everything, and set reminders on her phone. Similarly, a woman might put up sticky notes on her working desk just to make sure she doesn’t miss any tasks. These strategies may work for the time being, but they take a toll and are not sustainable.
From an outsider’s perspective, everything is going well. The girl or the woman is meeting her commitment, so there’s nothing to inquire about. And because they (the observer) don’t perceive that there’s a problem, they are less likely to suggest an ADHD diagnosis.
We Also Have Societal Pressure to Blame
Women tend to mask their traits because of societal pressure to be perfect. This means they continuously fight with their symptoms while making sure the world doesn’t see their struggles.
Let’s take an example. A male employee with ADHD is assigned a long-term project. He will put off work for weeks. And when the deadline is upon him, he’ll either ignore it or give an excuse for not being able to complete the project.
A woman in the same situation would also ignore the project. But when the deadline approaches, she will freak out and try to deliver a perfect project overnight. She’ll spend the night working, and submit the best she could do.
It’s not because she can. It’s because she feels like she has to. In fact, society expects her to do better. That silent but mounting pressure can make a woman with ADHD work past her limits.
The irony is that society will only see her mistakes, not the struggles she went through to deliver that completed, albeit flawed, project.
It’s not just Inattentiveness or Masking
We mentioned that women experience ADHD differently. And it’s not just the symptoms types are different. Even if a girl has hyperactive ADHD, the traits are likely different from a boy’s.
A boy with hyperactive ADHD symptoms will be more noticeable as his traits are more physical. He will tap his feet and be an active “troublemaker” in class or at home. But a girl with hyperactive symptoms will be more talkative, meaning her symptoms are more likely to be ignored as chatty.
Girls and Women are at a Higher Risk of Mental Issues
Women with ADHD have impaired self-esteem, especially when compared to men. They don’t see themselves as smart as others because they notice others working more efficiently, with minimal burnout.
As a result, girls and women with ADHD will work themselves to burnout. They are also more prone to mood disorders like anxiety and depression and will take more antidepressants than men.
If You Think You Have ADHD, Ask Yourself These Questions
If you think you have some of the female ADHD symptoms, we recommend asking yourself the following questions. Don’t be overwhelmed. No answer is the wrong answer. Note down your responses and see how many of these align with a “yes”.
Do you feel overwhelmed in busy environments, such as stores or social gatherings?
- Are you easily distracted by noises or activities that others can ignore?
- Do you struggle to manage time, money, or clutter?
- Have you ever avoided inviting people over because of the state of your home?
- Do you find yourself constantly losing things, missing deadlines, or feeling behind?
- Are you either hyperactive and constantly on the go, or completely exhausted and unable to start tasks?
- Do you start each day determined to be organised but end it feeling defeated?
- Have you watched others with similar intelligence or education surpass you professionally or academically?
- Do you struggle with basic life organisation while wondering how others seem to manage effortlessly?
The more your answers skew toward a “yes”, the more likely you need a professional assessment to understand what your specific traits mean. As we had mentioned earlier, there’s a chance of a misdiagnosis when an inexperienced individual assesses your traits. So consult properly trained, experienced clinicians like those at ADHD Certify.
Managing ADHD as a Woman
ADHD isn’t necessarily the cause of stress. It’s commitments and uncertain boundaries that cause stress.
One way to reduce this stress is by simplifying life, reducing distractions, and setting boundaries. These boundaries are for both other people and yourself.
For example, you may be tempted to say “yes” to no matter what others ask of you. This shouldn’t be the case. Instead, you should be comfortable saying “No” if the task doesn’t align with your priorities and will cause extra stress. This “No” doesn’t come easy, but once you start setting boundaries, you’ll see how relaxed and stress-free you become.
Embracing ADHD and Finding the Right Support
Balancing career, family, relationships, and personal needs can be overwhelming and cause extreme distress for women with ADHD.
To ensure women with ADHD have an easier path to support, we have to raise awareness about how ADHD appears in women, how it differs from ADHD in men, and its impact on their lives. Instead of viewing ADHD-associated challenges as personal shortcomings, we have to recognise them for what they are: traits of ADHD in women.
This awareness is crucial for women to move toward self-acceptance. For many women, receiving an ADHD diagnosis brings relief, as it helps make sense of lifelong struggles with organisation, time management, and emotional regulation.
If you’re a woman with ADHD, allow yourself to set your own boundaries and set realistic deadlines that align with your brain. Realise that your ADHD is more than the sum of your struggles. It gives you a unique way of thinking, giving you an edge at tasks that demand creativity and undivided focus.
You also have treatment options, like cognitive behavioural therapy, that can help with emotional regulation and self-esteem. You can join support groups where other women with ADHD share their experiences and provide invaluable insights into how they manage life with ADHD.
Getting an accurate diagnosis is the first step toward the right support to help you live fully without burning out.
But, as we’ve discussed, getting an accurate diagnosis can be difficult because ADHD traits in women are different from what typical ADHD looks like.
We’ll end this by saying that ADHD literally changes how you perceive the world. So give yourself some time and use every available tool to make your life a bit easier. Because, given enough time and the right support, you can move forward with confidence.
Take the First Step Toward the Right Support
Understanding your brain and how it works can help you build a life that plays to your strengths instead of fighting against challenges alone.
